(NOTE: Okay, so this is a parody of Romeo and Juliet, obviously. It's supposed to be funny, with it's mock Shakespeare-esque style, although, of course, I'm actually a fan of the Bard. Also, a bit of an AU since obviously neither of the lovers took their life. Is it wise to judge on first impressions when picking one's true love? Perhaps Juliet should not have gotten married when she was only 13... )

Oh, Romeo!
What.
Was.
I .
THINKING?!
Married at 13?!
How could I ever have thought it would last?
Oh Romeo,
Thy name is as ugly as thy soul!
Thy face has lost its sparkle!
Was it not strange,
To agree to be wed
The first fated night of our meeting?
Was it not ridiculous
To swear to die for
A complete and utter stranger?
Thy resolve is frail, thy choice in me fickle
And thine only interests in sewing and gardening!
Oh, Romeo!
I am fortune’s fool!
I thought we had a connection,
But the only thing that connected that night
Was the notice of thy handsome face
And not the pathetic eyes within it!
I would divorce thee in a second
If not for the feud
But as a Capulet
Shalt honor my agreement
Until ye quite coincidentally fall upon my sword at dear Tybalt’s grave.
Oh, on my aching heart if that shalt be!
And then there’s that Paris.
And Paris…
Is.
HOT!
I don’t know how my heart did skip over such a perfect face
He is indeed a man of wax!
And that hair…
And he’s smart, and charming, and funny
And all thou does-eth is whine!
Let us just agree to find a way to dissolve this now.
-Juliet

PokefanKala : Not bad for a paroday and or comedy Poor poor Romoe ... wait did they REALLY get married at 13 or is that just part of zeh play? Anywho it was funny somewhat so I think the main goal was accomplished here Good work and stuff

Mr. Zed : Thanks! Yes, Shakespeare actually wrote Juliet to be thirteen years old when the classic play, including her secret wedding, took place. Romeo was a bit older, I'd guess around 17 or 18, although it wasn't specifically mentioned. Crazy stuff!

Oh ... Well ...... I would have never guessed that. And here I were thinking of how silly it be that someone could write a play of someone getting married at 13 to an older suitor .... but I guess love makes you do some CCCCRRRAAZZZY things . Silly silly humans

PokefanKala : I heard she was fourteen. But it was hilarious! I'll be laughing every time I see 'Romeo and Juliet' now, because THIS will pop into mind.

I'm not going to lie....I laughed through the whole thing! I have never seen, such funny poem before in my life! I enjoyed reading this. And I hope, you would do more in the future. Merry Christmas, and a happy new year! ^-^

Nice job, XD this was pretty funny in some parts of it. I think it is crazy that she married him even though he is like 4 or 5 years older, but think of it this way, that is a whole lot better than marrying Paris who is probably in his 30s already. That would just be horrible XD. A lot of kids are always so hyped on this and I didn't really see what the big deal with Romeo and Juliet was, the book is alright, but I guess I just didn't see what the big fuss was about. 

Anyways, nice job on this parody/ comedy piece here, I will think of this if I ever see the movie again. Nice work! 

Dragonlord Stephi : She was almost 14, but not quite.
CAPULET
"But saying o'er what I have said before:
My child is yet a stranger in the world;
She hath not seen the change of fourteen years,
Let two more summers wither in their pride,
Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride." -Romeo and Juliet, Act 1 Scene 2
(So, apparently even when he was being "protective", Capulet thought 15 was a decent age for marriage. Of course, people's lives were shorter- yay plague!- and they married earlier in those days, and apparently Shakespeare thought making Juliet crazy young would generate more audience sympathy by highlighting her youth and innocence, but, whatever.)
Anyway, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it! I've read some of your stuff and it's very good as well!

Razor-987 : That's true. Paris was actually pretty creepy! XD Thank you!

PokefanKala : I apologize. It seems my memory was faulty.

Dragonlord Stephi : That's okay. It happens to us all, and at any rate, he did say (not yet) 14, so you probably just remembered that.

Eniitan : (Ugh, missed replying to you on my last post. Sorry!) Thank you so much! It really means a lot. And a Merry Christmas to you as well!

Hahaha that was great. Love the sudden mood change at "Paris, Paris is HOT"

I like to facepalm when people want a Romeo and Juilet romance. xD

A user of this : Thanks! Haha, that was my favorite part to write! It does seem quite silly to want that kind of romance. I don't believe in love at first sight, (it's more of attraction, or lust at first sight), so the whole thing has always seemed pretty weird to me. I mean, I guess I see how dying for each other is sort of romantic, but the moment is sort of ruined by the fact that they don't actually even really know each other... XD